Redefining Success: Why High-Achieving Women Are Saying No to Wine Culture

For years, success to me meant being a rockstar at work. Saying yes to everything. Taking on more than I should have. I worried that if I said I didn’t have the "bandwidth," people would question my dedication or think I wasn’t pitching in enough, even though my plate was already overflowing.

I always needed and wanted validation from others. My worth was tied to how much I accomplished, how others saw me, and whether I was told “you’re doing a good job.”

Even in great roles, like my years at Amazon,  where I was celebrated, rewarded, and consistently pushed to maintain a healthy work-life balance, this was still my reality. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. On the inside, I was exhausted. And at the end of the day, alcohol was the reward I told myself I’d earned.

I didn’t realize how unhealth it was and how it drained my energy, my clarity, my confidence. I’d wake up foggy and behind before the day even started. 

When I finally removed alcohol, things started to change. But what took even longer, years, actually,  was learning that my self-worth isn’t tied to my job. That was the harder work.

How I Did It
Quitting drinking was the first step, but it wasn’t the only one. The real work was in slowing down enough to see what I actually needed. I started by:

• Getting honest about the stories I was telling myself. This included realizing that saying no meant I wasn’t dedicated, or that I had to do more to be valued.

• Building small daily habits (what I now call my “Daily Sparkles”) that helped me trust myself without outside validation.

• Practicing boundaries even when it felt uncomfortable and learning that people respected me more, not less, when I was clear about my limits.

• Celebrating wins differently but not with wine, but with reflection, movement, or time for me.

It wasn’t instant. It took years of unlearning. But those small choices added up, and little by little, I started to believe I was enough — without the gold stars, without the “yes” to everything, and without the glass of wine at the end of the day.

Now, success looks different:

• Waking up proud of my choices.
• Trusting myself without needing constant validation.
• Leading in a way that models boundaries instead of burnout.
  Building a life that feels good on the inside, not just impressive on the outside.

This shift has been everything. Because success isn’t about how much you say yes to, how busy your calendar is, or whether others tell you you’re enough.

It’s about knowing you are enough with or without the gold stars.

Question: Has your definition of success changed over time?

If this resonates with you, I’d love to keep the conversation going. You can join my weekly newsletter here to get more insights, tools, and encouragement delivered straight to your inbox.